


this weakness in me

by drfitzmonster



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Lena and Kara are soft sad babies, Love Confessions, there's a lot of crying and hugging and cuddling, they need each other so much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-15 11:31:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11230050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drfitzmonster/pseuds/drfitzmonster
Summary: Lena can't help wanting to seek comfort in her friend.





	this weakness in me

**Author's Note:**

> I have so many feelings about sad!Lena and sad!Kara. They just need love.

_You’re weak_ , she told herself as she stared at her phone, tears in her eyes. She brought up Kara in her contacts and tapped on her picture: Kara, wearing a bright, beaming smile, about to stuff an entire donut into her mouth, which was absolutely covered in sugar. The photo captured it glistening luridly against the pink of her lips.

She shivered, setting her phone down and letting out an exasperated sigh. She couldn’t keep depending on Kara like this for support. It was unbecoming of a Luthor.

Who was she kidding, though? She’d never be a real Luthor, even if Lionel really was her father.

They were all gone anyway. Everyone left, eventually. No one ever stayed. Not her birth mother, not Lex, and certainly not Kara. It was only a matter of time before Kara realized how worthless and unlovable Lena really was, that she could find much better friends to associate with.

 _Everyone leaves_ …

But she was weak, remember? So she opened her contacts and pulled up Kara again. Her finger hovered over the call button before she finally let it fall. If she could just hear Kara’s voice, maybe that would make her feel better. Maybe that one small, foolish indulgence would quiet her thoughts long enough for her to drink herself to sleep. Maybe she could even fall asleep to the sound of Kara’s voice.

She quickly shook that thought out of her mind because the line was ringing and Kara always picked up so—

“Lena! Hi! I’m so glad you called. How are you doing? How was your day? Tell me all about it.”

“Oh, I’m ok, just wanted to check in, see how you’re doing.” She tried to sound like she was not falling apart, but she couldn’t quite keep the thickness out of her voice.

“What’s wrong?”

Lena sniffled and cleared her throat to try and choke down a sob.

“Lena..."

“Oh, um, I just… No, I shouldn’t be bothering you with this. I’m sure you have better things to be doing right now.”

“You’re my best friend. There’s nothing I want to do more than talk to you right now.”

Lena’s eyes widened. “Really?”

“Of course. Now will you please just tell me what’s wrong?” She could hear Lena start to cry on the other end.

“Can I just… Is it ok if I come over? I don’t think I can be alone right now…”

“Yeah, sure. Of course. Come on over. I was just about to order a couple pizzas. Are you hungry?”

“No, no. I’m not hungry...” Lena sighed heavily, shoulders slumping.

“Do you just want me to come over there? You sound really tired.”

Lena sighed again. Kara was so attentive and concerned, it only made Lena feel more guilty for monopolizing her time like this. She probably ruined Kara’s Friday night plans with her friends. “No. I don’t want to inconvenience you more than I already am. I’ll be fine.”

“Lena it wouldn’t _inconvenience_ me. I told you, you’re my friend. It’s just what friends do for each other.”

“I’ve already contacted my driver. Besides, I… I need to get out of here for a while.”

“Oh, ok. Well I’ll see you soon.”

 

* * *

 

When Kara opened the door to her apartment Lena practically fell into her arms, sobbing and clutching at her shirt. She’d been so touch-starved her entire life that she’d come to crave contact from Kara. When they first became friends she was shocked by how casually tactile and affectionate Kara was, but now, especially when it felt like her whole world was coming apart at the seams, all she could think about was how safe she felt wrapped in Kara’s strong arms.

She knew it was selfish of her— using her friend like that— but she was weak, after all. And even though it made her hate herself, she couldn’t stop. So she clung even tighter.

“Lena?” Kara looked down at the distraught woman who was crying and trembling in her arms. “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” She did a quick scan of Lena’s body with her x-ray vision and could find nothing wrong with her physically. “Lena, you’re starting to scare me…”

“Please… please can we just go sit down?” she muttered softly in reply, face buried in Kara’s neck.

“Yeah, sure, of course.” Kara led her to the couch and wrapped a throw around her shoulders. She sat down first and opened her arms so that Lena could sit and move into them.

Lena curled herself tightly into Kara, pressing as close as she could, laying her head on Kara’s chest. She wept quietly, every once in a while sniffling and trying to wipe her face clean of tears.

Sensing her need for closeness, Kara wrapped her arms snug around Lena, resting one hand on her back and using the other to gently stroke her hair. “You don’t have to talk about it now— or ever if you don’t want to— but if you want to talk, I am here to listen.”

For a moment Lena stayed silent, and Kara thought she might not respond at all, but then:

“I can hear your heartbeat.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes. It’s very soothing.”

“I’m glad.” Kara leaned down to kiss the top of her forehead. “Lena I—”

She was interrupted by a heavy knock at the door.

Lena popped straight up, startled, her body stiffening in fear.

Kara grabbed her hand. “Hey, it’s ok, it’s just the pizza. I’ll go run get it.”

She returned to the couch shortly with a stack of boxes, a bottle of soda, and a bottle of sparkling water. She opted to plop everything down on the coffee table right in front of them, Lena suspected, to entice her. And it worked, because as soon as she smelled the pizza her stomach began to growl.

“I heard that,” Kara said, popping open one of the larger pizza boxes and rubbing her hands together. She looked over at Lena, brow furrowed with concern. “When was the last time you ate?”

“I don’t know. Yesterday, maybe…”

“Yesterday, _maybe_?” She dropped the lid to the pizza box and placed her hand gently on Lena’s arm. “You need to eat something.” She held two small boxes out to Lena, adding in a sing-song voice, “I got you a spinach salad and a prosciutto, fig, and pine nut pizza… with balsamic gla-aaze.” She frowned when Lena did not perk up at the mention of her favorite pizza. “Will you please eat?”

Kara capped off her request with her signature pout and puppy dog eyes, which was just too much for Lena to resist. Besides, she actually was pretty hungry, now she thought about it.

Lena accepted the boxes from Kara, suddenly so ravenous that she tore them both open, not looking up or speaking until she had eaten every scrap of food in front of her. She was about to utter a sheepish apology when she noticed that Kara had consumed almost an entire pizza and was currently about to shove the final slice into her mouth. Lena giggled.

Kara looked up, confused, but when she saw Lena’s empty containers she just smiled. “See? I knew you needed to eat. You can’t hide from me, Lena Luthor.”

The way Kara said her last name, without a bit of disgust or revulsion, like it was completely unremarkable, just a word like any other, made Lena’s heart clench in her chest.

“Why are you being so nice to me?”

“What do you mean ‘why’?” Kara asked, taken aback. “I’m your friend. Do I really need a _reason_ to be nice to you?”

“It’s just… I’ve interrupted your night, and imposed myself on you, and you’re just… you. Perfectly lovely and attentive, comforting me, knowing I’d probably not eaten, even though I said I wasn’t hungry, getting me my favorite pizza. I just…” Lena turned her head so Kara wouldn’t see the tears in her eyes. “I just don’t deserve all this.”

Kara reached out for Lena’s hands. “Of course you do, Lena. You deserve to be taken care of. You deserve to be treated well. You deserve to be loved.” She leaned back into the arm of the couch, giving Lena’s arms a gentle tug. “C’mere.”

Lena complied without hesitation, once again moving into Kara’s arms. She let out a long, slow breath, feeling the pressure on her chest slowly dissipate. The problems with L-Corp and her mother and the city that hated her name, all just floated away.

Her world was reduced to the feeling Kara’s warm body and her strong arms, the smell of her bright perfume, the sound of her voice as she hummed a tender melody that Lena had never heard before. She fell into a sort of trance, moored by the gentle rise and fall of Kara’s chest as she breathed. She felt safe, something that she realized now she’d never really felt before, not until Kara.

“What song is that?” she muttered sleepily.

“Oh, it’s just a lullaby,” Kara said softly, stroking Lena’s hair.

“Will you sing it for me?”

“It’s um, not in English…”

“That’s ok. Will you sing it anyway?”

Kara couldn’t resist Lena’s request. She knew it was a risk to sing to Lena in Kryptonese, but she’d asked so sweetly, and the urge to comfort, to protect and shelter her, was overwhelming.

So she sang Lena the song her mother sang to her when she was very young, the song she hadn’t heard in years, the song she’d only sung for one other person on Earth, her sister Alex, and it was such a relief to be using her native language, even if it was just a lullaby, that she began to cry.

The tears came slowly at first, but by the time she was done she was practically sobbing. Lena reached up, wiping away her tears.

“It must be so hard, losing your entire planet like that,” Lena whispered, looking into Kara’s eyes, silently begging her not to run away, not this time.

She looked away. “I…”

“Please,” Lena placed her palm against Kara’s cheek, waiting until she turned back before she continued, “you don’t have to hide from me.”

Kara looked frightened at first, and then resigned. She closed her eyes. “Yes,” she breathed. “I dream about it almost every night, and when I wake up, just for a split second I think I’m back on Krypton. And then I realize… that it’s all gone. Everyone is gone.” Her voice was hollow, haunted.

Lena knew haunted, she knew it so very well. She drew her thumb over Kara’s trembling lower lip, catching a tear. The pain in her eyes was almost too much for Lena to bear. No one as selfless and kind as Kara deserved any of that. As a Luthor, misery, loneliness, madness, were her lot in life, but they certainly weren’t Kara’s.

Kara was the Last Daughter of Krypton, the Girl of Steel, and she carried the burdens of the entire planet on her shoulders— a planet that was not even her own. She chose that. She didn’t choose to be sent to Earth as a child, but she chose to stay, to take up the mantle, to sacrifice herself and her safety, all for a bunch of ungrateful humans who never really appreciated all she did to protect them every single day. Hell, she’d saved every single one of their lives, more than once, and some still hated her, just because she was an alien.

Lena’s heart ached for Kara, and all she wanted to do was try to relieve some of her suffering. She wanted to kiss her, to breathe into her, to fill her with something more than pain. She wanted desperately to touch Kara, to soothe the skin that had met with more bullets and concrete than soft touches and tender caresses. Lena wanted to replace Kara’s sorrow and anguish with pleasure.

She’d been holding her feelings for Kara inside for so long, wanting to protect her, not wanting to betray her, knowing that she needed a friend, not a suitor. Lena cast her own needs aside because Kara was so much more important.

But maybe she’d been wrong about what Kara needed. Maybe Kara _did_ need more than just friendship. Maybe they needed the same things from each other. Maybe there was a chance...

She moved forward slowly, and before she realized what was happening she was kissing Kara, soft and searching.

Kara kissed her back shakily, tears still slipping from her eyes. She brought her hands up to clutch at the sleeves of Lena’s sweater, pulling her closer and crying into their kisses. “Lena…” Kara whimpered against her lips.

Lena broke the kiss, framing Kara’s face with her hands and bringing their foreheads together. “It’s ok,” she breathed. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” She kissed her again.

Kara pulled back and gave her a watery smile. “I’m supposed to be saying that to _you_ right now.”

“You still can.”

Kara took a deep breath and reached up to brush a strand of hair out of Lena’s face. “No matter what happens between us, I will always be your friend. And I will always protect you,” she said, wrapping her arms around Lena tightly.

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

Lena pressed her lips against Kara’s, initiating a kiss that was deeper and firmer than the ones before. When they finally broke apart, both panting a little and blushing, Lena smiled. She shifted in Kara’s arms so she was leaning back into her and pulled Kara’s hands up to her mouth, kissing them before placing them, palms down, on her stomach. Sighing contentedly, she relaxed her muscles, allowing herself to sink into Kara.

They lay together, simply enjoying each other’s warmth and closeness, until Lena finally broke the silence.

“Did you know I was born in Ireland?”

“I didn’t.”

“Really? I thought for sure the DEO would have some sort of file on me.”

“They do,” Kara sighed, “but they have files on everyone,” she started ticking off on her fingers, Lena still nestled between her arms, “me, the president, Cat Grant. I mean... you should see Alex’s file,” she said, chuckling and holding up her thumb and index finger to indicate how thick it was. “Oh! But I would never look at yours, Lena, I swear. I would never invade your privacy like that.”

“I know, Kara. I trust you.” She got quiet for a while, lost in her own foggy memories of the time before she was adopted. When she finally spoke it was barely above a whisper. “I don’t remember much about my birth mother, but I do remember that she used to sing this song to me, a lullaby. I could never remember any of the words, only the tune.” Lena moved onto her side, still on top of Kara, and tucked her head under Kara’s chin.

“I learned Gaelic in college because I thought it would help me feel closer to her... I taught myself the song.” She curled her fingers into Kara’s shirt, choking back a sob. “When I was lonely I’d sing it to myself,” she said through tears, burying her face in the crook of Kara’s shoulder. “I still do sometimes…”

Lena cried quietly, still clutching Kara’s shirt, while Kara rubbed her back. Lena went silent again for a while, and then she started to sing, her voice weak and raspy. She managed to get through all the verses without crying, and when she was done she nuzzled into Kara’s neck, kissing her and breathing in the scent of her skin.

“That was beautiful, Lena.” Kara said dreamily.

“Thank you,” she murmured. “It really is a beautiful song, even if it gets a little dark at the end.”

“I know. The part about the fairies on the roof gave me the creeps,” Kara said, shivering.

Lena started to nod, but then froze. “Wait? You speak Gaelic?”

“Oh… um, yeah... I guess I do…”

“How many other languages do you know?” Lena asked, propping herself up on her elbow so she could see Kara’s face.

“Earth languages?” She cleared her throat nervously. “Almost all of them?” She said it more like a question, wincing as she did so, afraid to see the look on Lena’s face.

“Kara…” Lena said her name softly and reverently. “You are the most incredible woman I have ever met.” She ran her fingers along Kara’s face. “You can open your eyes.”

Kara opened them cautiously, looking at Lena timidly.

“Did you think I was going to be mad at you?” Lena moved forward to give Kara a chaste but lingering kiss.

“I don’t know… maybe?”

“Why would I be mad? Because you are extraordinary? Kara, I could never be mad about that.”

“I just didn’t want you to think I was bragging about it, like I think I’m special or something.”

“First of all, you _are_ special, and second, I know how many languages there are on this planet. It’s something you’re pretty safe bragging about.”

A look of concern crossed Kara’s face. “Why do you think I’m so special? Why? Just because I have these powers? I didn’t do this. I didn’t earn them, or work for them, or anything. Your yellow sun gave them to me. The same thing would have happened to anyone else.”

“Or do you mean the languages thing? Everyone on Krypton knows—” she stopped, shaking her head, swallowing back tears, “knew. Everyone _knew_ that many languages. I’m not special, Lena. Don’t you see?”

Lena grabbed Kara’s face in her hands, kissing her firmly, almost roughly. She wished with all of her heart she could just kiss Kara hard enough to make her understand. She wished she could make Kara see herself the way Lena saw her. She wished she could make her see how truly exceptional she really was.

Lena broke the kiss, leaving both of them dazed and breathless. “Kara, you’re not special because of your superpowers, or because you can speak thousands of languages— although that is impressive— you’re special because of your heart.” She touched Kara’s chest with her left hand, her right still cupping Kara’s face.

“You lost everything. You’ve had so many reasons in your life to harden your heart, to shut everyone out, to become bitter and cynical and cold. And yet you remain the warmest, kindest, most open, and compassionate person I have ever met. You are the only person who I can say with any confidence at all is truly good.”

Kara was shaking her head. “No, Lena, no. I’m really not like all that…”

“Kara, come on. I saw the video of you saving those baby ducks.” Lena arched an eyebrow at her. “You are _exactly_ everything I said you are.”

She blushed. “I didn’t know anyone was filming that.”

“Supergirl stopped traffic and used her cape to usher a family of ducks across the street.” Lena laughed. “Of course people were filming it. In fact…” Lena grabbed her phone and with a few quick taps searched YouTube. “There are no less than thirty videos of your duckling rescue. Oh and look,” she held up her phone, scrolling through a list of videos, “here’s one of you stopping a playground bully, putting out a fire at National City General, thwarting a bank robbery, carrying an old lady's groceries for her, saving _numerous_ cats stuck in trees… Would you like me to continue?”

“No, please don’t. I get it.”

“Do you see now, Kara Danvers, how good you are? And you ask for absolutely nothing in return. _That_ is what makes you special.” She moved to kiss her, placing her lips gently upon Kara’s.

“Danvers isn’t my last name!” Kara blurted out against Lena’s mouth.

Lena pulled back. “What?”

“My last name.” Kara propped herself up on her elbows. “I just… since you said it... before we kissed again I wanted you to know. I wanted you to know the truth.”

Lena smiled bemusedly. She still wasn’t quite used to how sweet and earnest Kara could be. “Ok. So tell me,” she said softly, pushing a lock of Kara’s hair behind her ear.

“Danvers is my adoptive name. I was born Kara Zor-El. That’s my Kryptonian name— my father’s name, actually. El is the name of our House, and the symbol on my suit is our crest.” She sighed with relief, unburdened of one secret, at least.

“Is there anything else I should know before we kiss again?” Lena asked, sounding more plaintive and less playful than she intended.

“Yes,” Kara breathed, her tongue flitting out to wet her lips. She took Lena’s hand in her own, pulling it to her chest, their fingers interlacing. She just held their hands there for a moment, taking a steadying breath. “I’m in love with you.”

Lena’s eyes grew wide for a moment, and then her face fell. This was not good, not good at all. “Oh, Kara, I… you can’t. I’m not the type of girl someone like you loves. You’re too good, and I’m… I’m a Luthor.”

This was a mistake. In her weakness she’d gotten too close, she’d kissed her, and now Kara was saying the word “love.” Friendship, seeking comfort in one another, that was one thing, but love? Kara couldn’t _love_ her.

This was all her fault. Her chest ached, ached like nothing she’d ever felt before, because of course she loved Kara. How could she not?

But it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter that all Lena had ever wanted was for Kara to love her back. Lena was tainted, a pariah. She poisoned everything she touched, but somehow she’d tricked Kara into thinking she was worthy of her love. Kara was far too good for her. She deserved someone so much better. Lena would not let Kara be hurt by the sins of her family.

Lena started to get up. “I should go. I… I should go.”

Kara rose with her, grabbing her wrist almost frantically. “No. Don’t go. You said you wouldn’t.” She took Lena’s other wrist in her hand, gripping her loosely enough that she could slip out of her grasp if she wanted to. “Please.”

Lena looked down at Kara’s hands around her wrists, and then her gaze moved to her face, her eyes, blue and brimming with tears. She crumpled, letting Kara lower her gently into her lap as they sat on the couch again.

“Lena,” Kara whispered, running her hands gently up and down Lena’s back. “I love you.”

Lena sobbed heavily, convulsively, clutching at Kara’s sides. “No… Kara, no…” she cried into Kara’s chest. She needed to leave. She’d done enough damage already. Except she couldn’t make herself move. All she could do was hold on to Kara like a lifeline.

“I know you think you’re a bad person, Lena, but you’re not.” Kara hugged her close, whispering into her hair. “You’re good, you’re so good.”

Lena lifted her head and looked at Kara, face red and tear-streaked. “I’m a Luthor. I am _not_ good.”

Kara brushed the hair out of her face, drawing her fingers across her cheekbone and down her jawline. “Lena. My sweet, gentle Lena. You are not your last name. You are not cursed.”

“But what if I am, Kara?”

Kara took Lena’s face into her hands, firmly, thumbs resting on Kara’s cheekbones, fingers threaded loosely into her hair. “You are a good person. I know for a fact that you are. I know in my heart.”

Lena wanted to protest, but Kara was staring at her so intensely, her eyes almost glowing, that her words just left her.

Kara let go of Lena’s head in favor of her hands. “I am so, so sorry that the people who were supposed to love and protect you betrayed your trust. I’m sorry they lied to you and made you feel like you are broken and unlovable. Nothing could be further from the truth. All those things you said about me are just as true of you. You are kind, and compassionate, and generous, warm. All of it.”

“Kara... “ Lena said sadly. “You don’t understand what it’s like to live under their shadow. My family… I can’t escape what they’ve done. It doesn’t matter what I do. I am one of them.”

“You are NOT one of them. Since the first day I met you the only thing I’ve seen you do is prove you are nothing like them. All you want to do is help people. You want to harness technology for the good of humanity.” Kara straightened her shoulders. “Your last name may be Luthor but that is where the similarity begins and ends.” She nodded resolutely.

Lena began to cry. “Why are you doing this to me?”

“Doing what?”

“The way you talk, I could almost believe you.”

“Lena it’s the truth. And you know what else is true?” Kara waited for Lena to look up at her. “I love you.”

Lena hid her face, still crying.

“Will you come lie down with me?”

Lena wouldn’t look at her.

“Please? I just want to be close to you.”

Lena hesitated a moment, still trying to fight the pull, the magnetism between them, but she was too exhausted. She didn’t look up, just nodded and buried her face in Kara’s neck. Kara scooped her up and carried her into the bedroom, setting her down gently on the floor. She handed Lena a soft t-shirt and shorts and sent her to the bathroom to change.

When she came back into the bedroom Kara was standing by the end of the bed wearing a tank top and boxers. Lena’s eyes were drawn to Kara’s bare arms, the way her muscles moved as she extended her hands to Lena. Kara noticed her looking, and they both blushed as Kara smirked and flexed a little for her.

Kara drew Lena into her arms, hands coming to rest at her waist. “So… you be little spoon and I’ll be big spoon?”

Lena nodded and gave Kara a shy smile.

Once they were both under the covers Kara pulled Lena’s body back into hers, until they were flush against each other. “Is this ok?”

Lena just nodded, sniffling, trying and failing to hold back her tears.

“Lena what’s wrong? Is this too much? Should I—”

“ _No_ ,” she cried out. “Please don’t let go.”

“I won’t. I won’t ever. I promise.” Kara grasped Lena’s hands in her own, squeezing them gently. “Can you tell me what’s wrong?”

Lena tried to keep the barest bit of composure, but she found she could not. When she spoke, her voice cracked and grew thick. “No one has ever… held me like this… No one has ever been truly kind to me.” Lena turned over and looked into Kara’s eyes. “Not until you, Kara.”

“Oh, Lena…” Kara did not know what to say. She was heartbroken that Lena had gone her entire life without something so vital, so healing. She pulled Lena into her body as closely as she could, trying to cocoon herself around the smaller woman. She felt all the more determined to give Lena everything she needed and wanted, everything she’d been missing.

“I love you, Lena,” Kara murmured repeatedly as she kissed the side of her head, her neck, the top of her shoulder. She felt Lena finally relax against her, heard her heartbeat and her breathing steady and slow. Once she was sure Lena was asleep, she allowed herself to drift off as well, arms encircling Lena’s midsection, a leg thrown over her hip.

 

* * *

 

When Lena woke the next morning it was to an overwhelming warmth, she felt completely enveloped by it. She felt… safe. And then as she slowly realized where she was: in Kara’s bed, in her arms, she began to panic.

She had to leave. Now. Whatever last night was— and oh, how her heart ached with longing to hear, just once more, all the things Kara said to her— it was over now. The spell was broken, and Kara would realize her mistake.

Lena couldn’t handle the rejection. It would break her. She had to get out before Kara woke up. She couldn’t bear to see the look on Kara’s face in the cold light of day. She tried to extract herself from Kara’s grasp, but every time she moved Kara just held her more firmly. Lena began to cry.

Kara lifted her head groggily. “Lena?”

“I have to go.”

That put Kara on alert immediately. She sat up, releasing Lena except for a hand on her arm. “Why? What’s wrong?”

“Kara, please, don’t. Just let me go.” She said through tears. “I know that last night you were just trying to be kind, and that now you’re going to let me down easy. But it’s ok. You don’t have to do that. I’ll just go, and save you the trouble.”

“Lena, no. No, no, no, no.” She pulled Lena into her arms and hugged her firmly. She gripped Lena’s shoulders, pushing her back and tilting her face up. “Lena. I don’t regret anything that happened last night. I meant every single word I said. I love you. I’ve never loved anyone more in my entire life. Please don’t go.”

“Kara…” Lena looked down at her hands. “I’m a _Luthor_ , and you’re... you’re _Supergirl_...”

Kara pulled Lena into a kiss. “Do you love me?”

“That doesn’t—”

She stopped Lena again with another kiss. “Do you,” Kara kissed her again, “love me?” She pulled back and looked into Lena’s eyes expectantly.

“Of course I love you, Kara,” Lena said, her eyes shining. “I love you so much it hurts.”

Kara cupped the side of her face, saying softly, “Then that’s all that matters. We love each other.”

“It’s not that simple.” Lena sighed. “My family… our reputation, it’s just too much…”

“You think my family doesn’t have darkness in it?” Kara’s voice had a tinge of anger to it. “My father was the one who engineered the Medusa virus. You know, the one you made inert, saving the life of every alien in the city.”

“But why would he…”

“Zor-El created it to kill anyone without _Kryptonian_ DNA. Your mother just altered it to suit her purposes.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t… I didn’t know.”

Kara laughed mirthlessly. “My aunt created a program that turned all the humans in National City into mindless drones. She said it was for their own good, that she could save the planet by enslaving everyone. She tried to get me to come over to her side, but I couldn’t.” Kara’s eyes darkened and a few tears slipped out. Sniffling, she continued, her voice shaking. “Alex killed her.”

Lena looked up, wide-eyed, but said nothing.

After a moment of cold, shining silence, Kara continued. “She didn’t have a choice. We tried to get Astra to surrender. But she wouldn’t.” Kara got very, very quiet. “She was going to kill J’onn...” Kara looked down for a moment, taking a deep, shuddering breath and wiping her tear-stained face. When she looked back up she cleared her throat and gave Lena a watery smile.

“Kara…”

“Don’t you see, Lena?” She picked up Lena’s hand, put their palms together so their fingers lined up. “We are not very different at all.  We are both trying to escape our families’ reputations, make names for ourselves on our own.” Kara used her free hand to stroke Lena’s hair. “I’m not going to let the sins of my family dictate what I do, or who I am... or who I love.” She looked into Lena’s eyes, seeing hope, and fear, and longing in them. “You shouldn’t either.”

Lena curled her fingers around the back of Kara’s hand. “You make me so weak. I… I can’t resist you.” She closed her eyes, tears sliding down her cheeks.

“You are not weak.” Kara moved forward, kissing Lena’s face, stopping at her lips and leaning their foreheads together. “You are the strongest person I know.” Kara framed Lena’s face with her hands. “And needing someone— needing _me_ — doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.”

Lena’s shoulders fell, her body slumping forward. “I’m so tired."

“I know, Lena. I know.” Kara pulled her as close, kissing the top of her head. “But you don’t have to do this alone anymore.” She hugged Lena tightly. “I’m here, to protect you, to support you, to love you, if you’ll let me.”

“Only if you let me do the same,” Lena said, clinging to Kara. Maybe she was weak. Or maybe Kara was right, and she was a good person who deserved a chance at happiness just like everyone else. Either way, she knew she wasn’t going to let go anytime soon.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it.
> 
> You can find me on tumblr: [@drfitzmonster](http://drfitzmonster.tumblr.com)


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